I've been blogging since 2003, so it's nothing new to me. But that's a personal blog, where I post pictures of myself and my family and overshare on a regular basis. For some reason I don't want to do that with a blog that might, hopefully, be connected to my book (may I be even more hopeful and say books?). I don't know why, but I am pretty torn about the whole idea of author blogs. I love reading blogs by some of my favorite authors, love reading about their personal lives and knowing more about them. But for other authors, I love the not knowing. I love the distance between the person and the work. Love that for me there is only this world they created, and they are an entirely separate entity.
Obviously I was born before the Internet revolution. I was born in a more private time. And the mystery that surrounds certain writers - well, it was part of the magic.
I have always planned on writing under a pen name. Under several, in fact, in the different genres I hope one day to write in. It's not that I don't want people knowing who I am; it's just that I like the idea of the separation. I need it, I think. Need to feel divorced somehow from the emotions I let loose in my writing. Need to feel free to bare my soul while still keeping part of me hidden. Is it fear? Maybe. But maybe not. Maybe it's just that I write to experience many lives. And part of that is in the persona of the writer I am in different genres. Sometimes I want to deal with some difficult, painful issues. Sometimes I just want to write something escapist. I am a different writer just as I'm a different reader at different points in my life.
So the idea of a permanent record, in the form of a blog, of my personality and thoughts, that could be connected to my writing, does kind of freak me out. So why am I on here? Because I should be? Because if I want, in the future, for people to hear about my books, then I need an Internet presence?
Yeah. Probably. It seems an impure motivation to start a blog. And because I am a writer and confessional by nature, I feel the need to confess it to you, oh reader-that-exists-only-in-my-head. I do want to connect with you. I do want to connect with other writers as well. I do want to share my experience and trials and journey. But I also want to keep it all to myself, to be elusive and mysterious and for my books to just appear out of nowhere and BAM! knock everyone's socks off. So there you have it. Apparently I have an ego. A rare thing in a writer, no?
I hope that this doesn't put you off too much. That my starting a blog as a vehicle to get my voice out there doesn't make you think too much less of me. I am a nice person, and pretty genuine most of the time. And I won't lie in this space, won't be fake or try to impress everyone, because I'm simply not good at it. I will probably repeat myself a lot - something I tend to do to work stuff out in my thoughts - and I will probably go from aloof to oversharing on a regular basis. But I'll be myself. Honest. Contradictory? Yes. Intriiiiiiiguing? You decide.
Okay, I'm annoying myself right now. Signing off.